Carefully Cataclysmic
by chavarokuuu
Summary: Chava Roku was supposed to be your average, perfect Pureblood Slytherin, second youngest to a highly honored wizard family of eleven. And she was, at least for a time. Top of the school and soon to be Head Girl, Chava Roku travels life on her own. But when she meets angsty Hufflepuff Fowler Payne (a mystery all on its own), will her perfect lifestyle suddenly turn upside down?
1. Not So Perfect

At only fifteen years old, you would have sworn she had her whole life put together. Chava Roku was a bright girl with a whole future ahead of her. Top in all of her classes, a newly instated Hogwarts Prefect for the Slytherin house, and teacher's favorite. It was the students that found her a little… odd.

Chava would press on clean cut Slytherin robes worn perfectly fit, and tie her long hair up into a perfect ponytail, and slide into the Great Hall, potions book in one hand and her wand in the other. Any professor would be glad to see her studying, but the whispering down the table would start at too audible a volume for Chava not to hear all.

"I heard from James that Roku isn't even human… She's some kind of vampire… She never shows emotion… I heard, oh! I heard she killed her own parents! And pass her current ones off as real!"

Of course, none of these things were true. Chava was human, rather emotional, and if anyone in her family were to die, it would be her parents killing her.

She looked perfect. She had everywhere to go and could ignore every rumor as she should. She loved Hogwarts. It was home she hid from, where she was less perfect. Where she was compared to every sibling and was used to that familiar feeling of the Unforgivable Curses. She had never told a soul what happened at home, merely just trying to be better than that at school. The more she achieved, the farther she could leave that house. And that sounded the best prize at all.

Chava slammed her potions book shut with a short growl, not even having bothered touching her breakfast. Potions was a nightmare if only because she was a mere second best of all his students. Some stupid seventh year was beating her out for the title of Student Potions Master. She considered asking his help, but why bother? She stood in a hurry, shoving her book in her bag to head down to the library, before she collided head on into someone walking the opposite direction. Her bag and her books immediately crashed to the floor.

"Shit, sorry, I–" the voice of the boy stopped when both she and him looked up to meet each other's eyes. Ah, Chava's favorite kid. "Roku," he muttered with a kind of malice. He hesitated in helping her pick up her books, doing her one kind service. And that in itself was something of a miracle.

"Payne," she spewed his surname in response, tugging her belongings from his grasp. He had never been a kind Hufflepuff, so she wasn't eager to wait around. "No time to chat, I've… got a potions tutor waiting up for me." She quickly moved to keep walking, shouldering past him in her lie. But he just gripped her arm and pulled her back.

"Who could possibly be your potions tutor, Damien Thorne?" Fowler Payne scoffed with some sarcastic undertone, and Chava made a face at him.

"Why not? Thorne has always been kind enough to me, who says he's not tutoring me? O.W.L.s coming up, you know." Damien Thorne, of course, being the damn seventh year who was beating her out in potions. And she didn't even stand a fighting chance at beating him, the damn kid. Maybe she'd suck up to him… just a little bit…

"Damien is hardly that kind to anyone, get a grip, Roku."

"Let go of me, Payne, before I take ten points from Hufflepuff. I have shit to do."

Fowler Payne sighed, releasing her arm and holding his hands up defensively. She and him had never gotten along since they were assigned partners in their first year. He had always said when he became Prefect, he'd put her in detention with him everyday. Most of the taunting stopped when Chava became the Prefect, and he didn't.

Chava paused for a moment, a little shocked by his giving in. But she only allowed this moment to last a second before she shouldered past him again, this time to head up to her dormitory. Maybe she really would seek out Damien Thorne later to tutor her, just to prove a damn point to Payne. She always loved proving him wrong, and doing anything to show him she was right. There was some odd thrill in pissing him off.

A week later, and Chava was perhaps the busiest student in Hogwarts– or at least in Slytherin house. She was starting to think about the future, and had caught the attention of some of those at the Ministry of Magic, who were thinking of internships and programs. In the eyes of these adults, there was no harm Chava could ever do. She was perfect for their governmental needs, and perhaps this was just what Chava wanted. Enough power to put her family in Azkaban, where they belonged. It would be punishment enough for then after the stunt they pulled last summer regarding Azkaban.

She had managed to talk to Damien Thorne, but not much about potions. She never wanted to admit she needed help. The one person who did frequently try to steal her time, however, was dear Fowler Payne, the bully Hufflepuff. He seemed to have taken a strange interest in her.

Chava sat in the library tapping her foot anxiously, staring across the room at a couple. Damien Thorne, and one who must have been his girlfriend. No matter how badly she told herself she should go and ask him for proper help with this potion given to her in her textbook, she couldn't do it. There was a strange feeling about the seventh year that she couldn't quite place, something that almost intrigued her…

She was pulled out of her anxious, curious trance by Fowler Payne, suddenly sitting at her table with a loud thump as his Charms textbook hit the table. Chava jumped, shaking herself out of her reverie to narrow her eyes at him.

"Hey, beautiful," he mused casually, taking a quick glance over his shoulder. "Checking out cute boys? Look no further than me."

Great. What did he want? "No, I'm not going to give you answers to the Charms homework. Move along with your flattery and nauseating remarks." She returned pointedly to staring at her potions textbook, both of her hands creeping up to grip at the roots of her hair, ruining her picture perfect ponytail. That was when Payne took her palms from her hair, gripping them in his own. When she looked back up, he looked serious.

"No, look… Roku– uh… Chava," he corrected himself, and it was the first time she had heard him use her first name. Not that she would budge. "It's not about homework answers. I really do want to… apologize, for how I've acted towards you the last few years. I've been rude, and you don't deserve that."

Chava stared at him in disbelief, before her brown eyes simply rolled back into her head. "You're tired of me always pulling points from Hufflepuff, that's it."

Payne groaned, tugging her closer by her hands. She instinctively sucked in a breath, looking embarrassed. "No, Chava, you're… I was jealous. That's why I was rude. But look, I think you're… Absolutely beautiful." Chava would have spluttered more in utter shock, spouting cocky insults back at him, had Payne not chosen that exact moment to kiss her, full on the lips, without any form of hesitation or forewarning.

It took a full few seconds before Chava got over the shock, and then she took action, her hand pretending to pull him in closer by the back of the head. She gripped the back of his hair, before tugging hard, and then bringing her foot up right in between his legs as he sat spread. Payne gasped loudly, gripping the front of his pants, eyes watering.

"What do you take me for? Some kind of slut?! GET OUT!" Chava screamed, and Payne wasted no time, running out the doors of the library as if her life depended on it. "I'M NOT SOME ONE NIGHT STAND!"

As she stood with fists clenched in the middle of the library, it slowly dawned on Chava that everyone else in the vicinity had stopped their business to stare at her. Chava gave a sheepish grin and a bow of her head to Damien Thorne, before hurriedly packing away her things in her bag and running out herself. She had to hide the girlish smile and the taint of red on her cheeks that had started to appear.

Oh, and how utterly stupid her next decisions were.


	2. Little Bird

"Why don't you ever want to hang out with me anymore?"

"I do! I really do, I've just been busy lately, with my family, lots of letters, I promise Fowler–"

"Shut up, Chava, it's always excuse after excuse."

It wasn't, it really wasn't. Not this time. It had been almost a year since their first kiss, and Chava Roku still couldn't believe she was the girlfriend of Fowler Payne, angsty Hufflepuff extraordinaire. How in the hell had she even managed that? A fifth year her would've thought she was on drugs, but now, the sixth year her just wished they would stop fighting and that she could kiss him again.

But of course, that wasn't likely. Fowler was angry, and maybe he had every right to be. He wasn't exactly wrong, she had been avoiding him, but it wasn't because she didn't love him, not even close. It was just her family, her stupid, dumb, absolutely infuriating family doing horrible things back home. She was glad she wasn't there to see it all first hand, but that didn't stop her from imagining it, especially when her baby brother was sending owl and owl detailing the horrors he was facing.

Her baby brother Cain was thirteen, and did not attend Hogwarts like her parents wanted him to. No, Cain had come out every Pureblood family's worst nightmare– he was a squib. But he also just so happened to be one of the only people in Chava's life that genuinely cared about her. She wanted to save him, desperately, and usually caught the worse end of the wand at home because she would continually stick up for him. And he was hurting. He was hurting, and he was weak, and her parents hated him for it. His only solace, he told her, was writing his letters to her.

That was something Fowler didn't seem to understand. But only because Chava couldn't tell him. She didn't know what, but something was stopping her from telling him the entire story, her backstory, her family.

"Do you not trust me?" he asked her, his voice pained, staring at her with wide eyes in the empty corridor.

"That's not it," she told him.

Suddenly, the look in his eyes changed. "You're cheating on me, aren't you?" he accused her, raising a pointing finger. Chava cowered under him. "You are! With that manwhore Damien Thorne, the little Potions bitch! Holy shit, I should've known not to let you be friends with him after we got together, I should've known he'd try to seduce you and you wouldn't be able to keep your fucking legs closed– did you let him fuck you?"

Chava was absolutely appalled, and completely unsure what he was basing his accusations on. She hadn't spoken to Damien Thorne in months. "Damien graduated last year, and he has a girlfriend!"

Fowler mocked her use of his first name only, considering it far too friendly. "You've been sneaking out the castle to go see him then, you won't go on Hogsmeade trips with me. You've been seeing him? You crawl up in your dormitory all day writing letters, they to your Potions bitch?"

"No, no, I promise! They're to my family, only my family!" Chava was desperate now, and tears started to leak from the corners of her eyes. She hated doing this, hated doing this so much, why did the have to fight so often? Why was she not good enough for him? Hoping against hope it would actually work, she reached forward and grabbed his face in her hands, hoping to look him in the eye and bring him back to her, fully and truly.

He rejected the motion violently, gripping both her wrists and pinning her effortlessly against the wall. "DON'T YOU TOUCH ME!" he screamed in her face, her bones rattling to the core, her head slamming backwards into the rough cement. "How DARE you, how dare you do this to me, the only one that loves you?"

"Please–"

"YOU ARE MINE! Do you understand that? No one else can have you, Chava, I do not share. No one else can even look at you, or touch you, or I swear to Merlin I will kill them and then you. Do you understand me?"

Chava whimpered. She didn't mean to make him so upset, she didn't mean to… "Fowler–"

A sharp hand slapped her cheek, throwing her head to the side, turning her face red. It would bruise. She knew that, it would bruise, and everyone would see it. Maybe she deserved that. "I asked you a question, little bird. Do you understand me?"

This time, she didn't hesitate. "I understand."

"Good," he purred, caressing the red shape on her cheek as if it were a prized possession. As if she were, something he won that he could show off. "That's my good girl. My good, sweet girl. You know I love you, right?"

Chava was trying not to cry too much, she knew it would only upset him, telling her she had no reason to cry. That if anything, he should be the one crying. "Yes," she whispered, and she wouldn't meet his eyes. "I love you, too."

He kissed her forehead, and a shiver ran down her spine. "You'd better. Now, if anyone asks you how you got this pretty mark on your face, you know what to tell them, right?"

She nodded. She did know. This wasn't even close to this first time this had happened. "I say that I did it to myself." She was beginning to grow a reputation for self-harm around Hogwarts.

Fowler's arms wrapped around her shoulders, finally willing to give her the affection she wanted in the first place. He tilted her chin up and pressed a kiss to her lips, and she allowed it to consume her, closing her eyes and forgetting the world existed, tasting only his lips.

It was over far too soon.

"I forgive you," Fowler said, touching her hair. "I forgive you, little bird."


	3. Better Behavior

**WARNING: This chapter involves abuse, particularly sexual abuse, along with implied rape. Please proceed with caution.**

At seventeen years old, underneath the cool stone of the castle, her green flags waved high, and ghosts right around the corner, Chava Roku never felt safer. And she never would feel as safe again in her life. It was her seventh year, and her grades had never been better. Hell, she was Head Girl for Slytherin House, and everyone envied her. Or, simply feared her, or most commonly, still made fun of her.

It was no help that the only somewhat decent friend she had made in this school, Damien Thorne, had graduated two years back, for her to not hear from him again. She had absolutely no idea what he might have been up to. It was, perhaps, slightly better that Chava's current boyfriend Fowler Payne had graduated the previous year. Without him there, Hogwarts was more safe than it had ever been.

She almost smiled, sitting by the lake, skipping stones lazily with her school bag for once, forgotten. It was the very beginning of the year, the weather was warm, and Chava wanted to enjoy her small bit of freedom she had from Fowler now instead of in the library. A slight rustling noise, and she expected an owl to deliver a letter from him.

"Chava," a voice purred, and a shiver ran down her spine, any trace of a smile forgotten. "Kitten," he cooed, hands snaking around her waist, pulling her against him, where she was met with a very familiar body to match the familiar voice. She loved this man to death, so why was she so afraid of him?

"Fowler?" she questioned, her voice appearing carefully calm. Why the hell was he here? "What are you doing? Why are you… You're not supposed to–" She was cut off when his hand cupped over her mouth.

"Shh, kitten. You know I don't like answering so many questions at once." She nodded gently. She did know this. "I came to see you." His other arm slipped from her waist to curl around her throat, squeezing just gently. "Do you not want to see me?"

He did this all the time. If she ever doubted anything, he would make sure she never did again. But she always did, everytime. Her breathing was going shallow, trying to breathe out only her nose as he squeezed her throat. How could she answer? When he squeezed harder, and it started to get much less bearable, her hands pry at his around her mouth and she gasped, "Yes! I do want to see you. I… do. I love you." She loved him.

The hand around her throat loosened, in favor of gently cupping her cheek. She stared at him, eyes wide. "You're not going to go to Hogwarts anymore," he stated, and she knew it was no mere suggestion. She swallowed hard, inching back from him slightly, not saying a word. What did he mean? "You're going to come live with me. I can't stay away from my girl this long."

Chava would allow herself to be a doormat for many things, but not this. She couldn't accept this. She didn't want to talk back, because she loved him, but to leave Hogwarts at the beginning of her last year, to live with him? She still had to graduate, she had job training, she was Head Girl, she had the Ministry looking at her, she had a life… And to just leave that all in the blink of an eye? "No. No, Fowler," she stated just as boldly, moving to stand up now, walking away to lean against the tree by the lake. Her arms crossed over her chest. "I can't do that. I'm Head Girl. I'm not going with you, not until I graduate." Then she would. But not yet.

The look on his face was terrifying. He froze, and the world seemed to freeze with him, even so much as the lake icing over, the sun dulling, and all she heard was her heartbeat speeding up, a dull sound the vibrated throughout her body. "Did you just say no…?" he asked with mock calm, staring across from her with a single raised brow. He took a step forward, and she flinched. "Did you lie, Chava? When you said you wanted to see me? That you loved me?"

Chava backed up with every step forward he took, until her back was against the tree. He took advantage of this and his hand was at her throat again, his thumb pressed along her chin to keep her looking at him. "I think my princess needs a reminder as to why you love me, so you remember how to be a good girl for me. You're lucky I took an interest in you Chava, no one wanted you."

This was true. No one ever talked to her unless they had to. The only other person to ever speak to her was Damien Thorne, and even then Fowler hated it, and Damien had better friends anyway. He probably didn't even remember her. "I think you need a reason to stay with me too," he purred in her ear. Before she could do or say anything, he had hoisted her up, pulling her over his shoulders, and he was running, but not out of Hogwarts. He headed straight through to the Forbidden Forest, and when they were deep enough inside to have lost the touch of Hogwarts, lost the safety it gave her, he put her down, tossing her onto the forest floor, and shoved her down on her back, wand out.

"Fowler, let go of me!" she insisted, trying to sit up, but she couldn't do anything. She was always weak, and she didn't want to hurt him. She loved him. More than she ever loved herself or anyone else. He dug his knee into her abdomen, and without hesitation his fist made contact with her nose. She made to cry out, but one hand clasped over her mouth once more.

"Listen to me very closely, kitten, as I don't want to hurt you again. Nod if you understand my words." All she could do was nod, the pain blossoming. Her nose had to be broken. She could feel the blood dripping down her face now. "Such a good girl," he said in response. "Now can you be a better girl and help give me what I want? Or do I have to curse you?" She shook her head first, not wanting to be cursed, before nodding instead, for his first question. A whimper escaped her lips, muffled underneath his hand, and her own hands started to creep up to try and push him off, needing to breathe. She would be good, but sooner or later natural instincts would creep in, and she would have to breathe, have to fight, pulling at the hand that had coiled back around her neck. And that didn't make him happy at all.

"LISTEN TO ME, CHAVA!" he screamed in her ear, before pulling her up again by the neck and slamming her into a tree, knocking the wind out of her. It scratched against her skin, leaving bruises and droplets of blood. He usually created bruises. But today was the first day he had drawn blood. He pulls her wrists together and with a flick of his wand, they're tied together tightly behind her back, no room to move them. With that, she was thrown back to the forest floor on her stomach, falling face first. She was dizzy, in front of her eyes only blurred colors… Was this what was best for her? She willed herself to pass out, but the world granted no such mercy on her.

Fowler placed his knee against her back and gripped her hair at the base of her skull, pulling back so she was forced to look up at him. She barely saw him through eyes that wanted and willed to close. "I don't share, kitten, not even with Hogwarts. Especially not with that potions boy fling you have. I don't need to leave you, do I?" She didn't answer. She didn't want him to leave her. He was all she had… "DO I?!"

"Please don't leave me," she cried, tears streaming down her cheeks. She'd go crazy if she lost him, she knew she would. He didn't mean to hurt her so badly. He did it for her betterment, as much as she disliked it. "I'll do whatever you want," she gave in. Even if that meant leaving Hogwarts. If only he would stay, and stop hurting her…

"I thought so," he muttered, balling her hair into his fist to keep it tight. "Unfortunately, darling, I can't much trust you anymore. You've broken my trust. Can you imagine how that makes me feel?" She messed up… She hurt him. "So I have to make sure you can't leave me, I have to make sure you stay with me."

The next remaining two hours would always be something of a mystery to Chava, that Fowler would always answer her questions of very vaguely. That she did what she could to make him happy, and then peacefully left Hogwarts that day to live with him in his little shack down Ottery. What Chava didn't know was that immediately after those last words, Fowler's wand was pointed at the base of her skull, with barely whispered words of, "Imperio." Where any struggle would fade away, her body would relax, and she'd do anything Fowler wanted happily, after giving in to the familiar curse of her childhood. She'd never know the curse was there after having grown so used to it it felt most like home to her.

Fowler would not release the curse on her until days after, when Chava realized on her own that she had to stay with Fowler because she was pregnant, and she couldn't very well go to Hogwarts and remain Head Girl pregnant. Who would hire her with a baby at barely eighteen? So she had to stay, for the baby, and more importantly, for Fowler, who she did this all for. And to the day that she would die she wouldn't know any different.


End file.
